I see you...

Source: http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/03/07/
travel/031107mansion-hotel-hallway.395.jpg
People laughing and telling their silly stories. And you laugh and smile at them because you have to. It is past 4 a.m. and they are just doing that all over again – telling make-believe plans and information that will never come to be true. The bed and the rest of the furniture are old-fashioned and yet somehow fancy. I am not sure whether I like it or not because you have to like it anyhow. I am trying to keep up with all the enthusiasm in the air, but still I am the most silent and level-headed person in the room. I prefer to touch the bed cover and feel its texture sliding past my skin. And just watch people’s way of talking – how different they are in their gestures, tone of voice and other indicators of their individuality. These are the girls I am talking about, boys are on the other side of the room. Some talking is also there, but naturally not so much laughing. I prefer this sound better so I turn my head towards them and keep looking at my bed. In half-darkness, I feel safe. I was with them in some more distant way. It was around 5 a.m. when I noticed that suddenly they shut their eyes and went to sleep. I know what there was one person missing and also I did not feel sleepy so I choose to take a walk around the hotel.
As I opened the door, even more noise was present. I felt like in a whirlpool of life that I did not prefer having. So many similar doors were all around and I was wondering if I will get back as I did not remember our door number and yet I choose to trust my instincts and go further without looking back. Somehow everything was mixed in a way that it was hard to distinguish where the hallway was and where it become a part of a suite. Some people really had booked huge spaces. Their belongings were all around the place. “In my country they would be stolen in just a few minutes. The hotel staff itself could be the one to blame,” the girl thinks. It is lovely that people can feel safe, but she does not. Instead she wants to find the "missing" boy from their group, but deep down she already knows the answer where he is and what is he doing. When she sees a half-open door with a big television screen, she knows for sure. There is a movie about the Second Word War on and she slowly opens the door a bit wider. You can see four feet and two of them she recognizes instantly. How can you recognize feet with clothes on but excluding the shoes? I do not know, sometimes you just do. Other feet are around his and she can just imagine the rest. She runs downstairs.
On the first floor even more people are present. The air smells like potatoes and braised cabbage. “This is how a home should smell,” I wonder. And I hear people talks all around the place. They make an instant boom, but there are two voices that I can distinguish from the rest. They are coming downstairs. I hear that one is saying ‘’thank you’’ and other is saying ‘’visu labu’’. And the last words sounds so confident that I knew that the person is something much better than me. I turn around and goes towards the food. There is so much food that he even cannot choose. It was all over the place also with expensive spirits as subtle wines like Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand Cru, Domaine Jean-Louis Chave Ermitage Cuvee Cathelin and others. I have avoided any kind of spirits for some years, but today it felt like it was the time to taste some sweet champagne with big, sparkly bubbles. Just when I turned around with my glass, I saw him and her. Just looking at her for a slight moment, I knew that she was Latvian and the beautiful and smart one. And he was so happy. I slightly smiled and he smiled back. I felt the glass edges drilling in the skin. Happiness is there and food also is there. I turn around and stuff myself with a big piece of meat and I do not care whether someone saw it or about my vegetarian preferences. I see food now and it is good. Salty wetness makes the meat more crunchy, just a moment before it jumps into the toilet.

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